My dear friends here,
I’m currently consumed by the grief of a loved one. As a result, this weight I carry in both my physical and emotional body and the heaviness of my broken heart is slowing me down considerably.
I was initially going to write this post as a social media update but decided that none of those platforms could be as gentle and tender as the trust and love I have for this space to write from the heart with all the vulnerability and ease my soul seeks right now.
I’ve come to know grief intimately over the years and yet I also feel that grief is unknowable. Language is often imperfect to describe the magnitude of it.
What I do know is that grief is a process of learning to allow it to be there, as well as pacing myself as I continue to walk through its depths.
I’m sure I’m not alone in that when I try to outrun, hide or deny my ability to grieve, I see not only the futility of my efforts, but ultimately I am rejecting and abandoning aspects of myself that have made me more vulnerable to a greater state of despair in the long run.
So for now I know I need to surrender and lean into this pain and find the courage to make space for this heaviness and the weightiness of it all.
Leaning into this pain means having the courage to find healthy ways to express my feelings and to bathe myself in mercy as I find my way through.
Whilst writing and creating content here is my great salvation I know that right now my soul is needing a season of solitude, restoration and stillness.
My blog has posts scheduled until July and I will not disrupt the planned schedule as I have so much medicine that I wanted to share for Scleroderma Awareness Month. I also thank my past self for writing up many more posts that will be published as planned.
I have moved my Caribbean series until July as I was still editing that and these stories and adventures deserve to be enriched with all the attention and care that I can bring to them.
I have already scheduled July’s letter that was intended for June but felt it was necessary to pause and create this post called ‘Impact Over Intention’ . I think more, now more than ever, we must dig deeper always into the greatest empathetic imaginations we have to make this world a kinder place.
As for social media, it feels necessary to tune out from this as I navigate these waves of pain. I need to tend to myself fiercely and carve out time for my own restoration to come back to the world with as much compassion and loving impact as possible.
To anyone who is reading this whose heart is broken from grief or any pain in the world, I love you.
Sending you all so much love and gentleness,