From our earliest years on earth, we are taught how to read, how to write, how to calculate, how to build, how to study and how to analyse life.
We were then taught our “please” and “thank yous,” but most of us failed to be educated in one essential dimension of life: self-love.
And yet cultivating a life full of inner and outer nourishment is one with self-love deeply present at the core.
As you journey forward in developing this deepest self-love for yourself, the journey ahead is often full of illumination, revelation and transformation. However, it’s also coupled with a depth of vulnerability and uncertainty that can stop us from stepping into our divine powers and authentic essence.
Enter the incredible soul I have the honour of holding space for on my blog today: Kirsty Dee.
Priestess Kirsty and I talk about exactly how she is enabling women to become comfortable with the dance of vulnerability, as they dig their roots deep in their own sacred soil to rise and reclaim their soul’s deepest love.
Kirsty is truly one of the most special and divine women I have ever encountered and I feel so blessed to share her wisdom with you all. When we get together in our local Dorset surroundings, we enter into the deepest, most nourishing conversations. Today you’re invited to lean into this ethereal magic yourself (but I’d also love to see you in Kirsty’s online Self-Love and Sisterhood soul circle here).
For many years now, Kirsty has felt the call to help women heal from emotional wounds and be transformed into the women they were designed to be through self-love and choosing to rise.
Kirsty is the founder of a variety of programmes that enable women to claim their powder and embody their truth. This includes, ‘The Choose To Rise Programme’ that is her empowering signature programme. This programme is designed so that it enables women to create more happiness and joy in their life. To do so, Kirsty guides her women how to live in alignment with their purpose and how to truly love themselves.
As well as ‘The Chose To Rise Programme’ Kirsty also offers many other transformative ways of rising through self-love that combine the use of meditation, workshops, journaling and healing soul-circles to live authentically by honouring ourselves and others.
I’ve had the honour of working with Kirsty through an in-person soul-circle and I can say through the depth of my heart and soul how gifted Kirsty is at creating a safe and sacred place for women to share their journey, insights, and stories.
Through this interview, I hope you will feel how Kirsty can illuminate a path for you. Whether this is a catalyst for healing and transformation, or unearthing your souls’ path and your heart’s desire. Kirsty will hold space for you so you can claim your unique gifts and medicine.
Moreover, Kirsty will educate you on the importance of self-love, what it truly really is and how to cultivate it so that we can all rise together.
Hi Kirsty! Thank you so much for your time. Please can you give my readers a quick introduction to you, where you live and what you do?
Thank you for having me. So, I’m Kirsty, a self-love mentor and empowerment coach for women. I live in the countryside in Dorchester, Dorset with my husband and our two kids. Since 17 years old I’d always desired to help women feel good.
I left school and went straight into holistic therapies, my only reason being ‘I just wanted to help people feel good’ and I thought what better way than a good massage, aromatherapy, reflexology etc.’
Fast forward to my thirties and whilst I’d now been in the wellness industry for a long time I finally came to realise all the wellness in the world and being physically fit (I’d been a fitness instructor in that time too) will only take you so far. If you don’t like yourself, life will always be way harder than it needs to be and when you’re going through a hard time, it becomes even harder.
When I turned 30 I really struggled. I realised I wasn’t fulfilled. Then at 32, we were going through a hard time financially, we had to move out of our home and back in with our inlaws in another town, I had gynaecology problems which made me feel less of a woman and a friendship breakdown.
Combined I hit a really low place. It was learning to truly love myself that turned everything around for me, as I learnt, I shared my journey with others and eventually became a coach offering 1:1 support, group programmes and mind, body and soul wellness days.
What does ‘Choosing to Rise’ mean to you? And how can it help heal the world?
It means to get back up, go again. I don’t mean you’ll just click your fingers and all of sudden feel like you can do this. I mean, start where you are and become the best version of you because staying down is hard and it hurts us because not doing so changes nothing.
If you’ve ever been in a low place you’ll know there is nothing easy about it, every day can feel hard. So you start where you are and baby steps are celebrated, encouraged and honoured here. One step at a time and I’d encourage you to get support. We’d all thrive from more support. It means don’t compare your lane to another. If you’re in a pretty good place, it means don’t waste it. Go for everything you want. Live for today.
It heals the world because we all have gifts that reside within us. When we don’t feel enough we often don’t see that. Rising means we tap into that and we become the best possible version of us, not because we aren’t enough already but because we embrace our uniqueness and share it with the world. Someone needs it.
You’re currently writing a book, and I’m so excited to read it! What have you learned about yourself in the process of writing this book?
Gosh, so much. Everything I thought I knew got dissected. That we never really know it all, we are all constantly learning but we never needed to be perfect. Nobody wants that. We want real. Everything I thought I knew I learnt deeper. It’s been incredibly healing, hard and beautiful. Vulnerability is beautiful.
I guess the big thing is, you’ll never feel you know enough, so you’ll have to leap anyway. That quote ‘feel the fear, do it anyway.’ That. You’ll never know it all, you’re not supposed to either, but it doesn’t mean your not ready. Let perfectionism go. Mainly talking to myself there, as I really wanted to get the book ‘just right’, but as we all know, there is no such thing. The beauty is always in the mess. Enjoy the road, don’t make it all about the destination or you’ll live a life of lack, fear and never roughness.
As Gabby Bernstein says ‘the when I have’s’. When you get something, you’ll want something else, because desire is how we birth new things, it’s important, we need desire, but believing having the desire manifest is the answer is one of the biggest lies we tell ourselves. The book has reminded me of that which I knew but had to learn much deeper.
What offering or practices do you offer to help women become more empowered and reclaim their feminine power?
I also have my signature ‘Choose To Rise’ programme which is my favourite because it’s the steps and tools that turned things around for me. As well as audios to soothe the soul. Anything from the higher self and inner child meditations to having an album designed to empower women who are short on time.
In September I run a free challenge called #SelfLoveTember and currently running a free challenge called #QuarantineWarriorChallenge because with Covid19 happening right now, community and getting support is so important, more than ever.
Wellbeing and taking care of ourselves really matters. We all need a boost and as cliche, as it sounds, together we really are stronger.
Have any fears, obstacles or unexpected surprises showed up along the way as you have worked on your book or online courses?
Of course. I think whenever we are going for something big there tends to be hurdles so we can be ready for our big dreams. We almost have to grow into them. Not everyone will like what you do, but you can’t live your life for everyone else. Going for your goals, dreams and visions is not the easiest path, but it’s incredibly fulfilling, but easy, no. Fear comes up ‘can I really do this?.‘ Nativgating through them is key. Learning to be stronger than your mind and having the discipline to keep going when it’s hard is key. Almost remembering, you do need rest too.
Honestly, I thought this book would be done by now, but it actually ended up being such a healing process for me that it needed more TLC. I think it’s important to honour the process, the messiness. Loads of tears have been shed. Then Covid19 happened and now I’m homeschooling, so yeah, obstacles for sure.
It’s taken longer than I expected, but as I said, sometimes we have to grow into our dreams and trust the process and the timing. It will be a better book for all of this, that I know for sure as gosh it’s been a massive learning and growth curve.
What’s been the key for you in building community? Both through your physical events and online communities.
Vulnerability. I think we all just want real. No BS. I used to hide who I was in fear someone would not like me, the problem when you do that is the people who are gonna really love on you for you can’t find you. I can’t remember whose quote it is but what I know for sure is, it’s better to be hated for who you are than loved for who you are not.
Truly, I think we all just want to feel seen, heard, that we matter, that we are appreciated and valued. That we are loved and so I tell my community how much I appreciate them. I show up for them. I’ve shown up for live videos when no one was watching. I kept showing up and I thanked and nurtured those who were there. Nobody is a number to me. They all matter and I thank and engage with them regularly.
Too often I see people complaining about numbers and engagement when they aren’t loving on those who are already there. Sure we all want more engagement, but none of us is entitled to it. Love the people that are there.
What experiences have most shaped your spiritual life the most?
I guess it was my childhood. I was abused as a child so that’s where my deep desire to serve and help other women feel good came from. It was also the thing that also meant I grew to be quite co-dependent, thinking it was my job to make everyone happy. This impacted all my relationships and I had very poor boundaries. If a friendship broke down, I would take it so badly. I didn’t really know how to create healthy relationships.
Healing from relationships that ended has been the catalyst for all that I do now. I think the most painful things always are. I had to work on my own demons and insecurities one by one. I had to do the ugly work that no one wants to do because it’s hard, but it’s also the most freeing and liberating thing we can do. To face your demons and come out the other side, you become a warrior.
What routines and rituals for the soul do you practise each day/on a regular basis that helps you feel connected to both yourself and the world around you?
I try to live every day intentionally. From the music, I listen to, to putting essential oil in my diffuser daily. I’m a huge fan of aromatherapy, it’s where I started after all 17 years ago now, to full-on woo and putting my hand over my water before I drink it and asking it to charged with all the good stuff – love, healing etc. Water has memory.
I listen to something positive pretty much every day whether it’s short audio or a live video from a coach who inspires me. There is rarely a day when I don’t do that. Whether it’s for few minutes when I brush my teeth (if I’m short on time) to making the time to sit down and watching something that will either empower me or soothe me, whatever I need, I pretty much don’t go a day without it.
I also have a gratitude journal and I look at my vision for the future every day so on tough days I remember why I do what I do. It’s important to know your why and to remind yourself daily otherwise when it’s hard you’ll give up.
To stay connected to the world, it’s community. I’m big on the fact that we thrive from community so I show up for mine a lot.
Describe your perfect day:
Ah, it has to be at the beach with friends and loved ones. Sand between my toes. The sun shining, the sea is warm. Talking dreams and visions for the future. All the woo talk, where we never stop dreaming, laughing, playing and loving.
Describe yourself in 3 words:
Loving, woo and passionate.
What is the legacy that you want to leave?
To me, your legacy is not one grande big thing. Sure as a self-proclaimed dreamer, I’m a visionary and I go for big things, I’m passionate and ambitious but it’s not actually about the big things like writing a book or one day buying the dream house, it’s the little things you do every day that shapes your life.
People rarely remember what you did or what you said, but they’ll always remember how you made them feel always. They always remember that. If you hurt them, they’ll remember, if you loved them they’ll remember.
So I would hope my legacy would be they felt enough, that they knew that they mattered, they felt my love. They felt empowered. I guess I’d like my legacy to be that I empowered others, that I left them better than I found them. If I could do that, I would die very happy.
Finally, Kirsty, what is your one wish for the world?
For everyone to feel seen, heard, validated, safe and loved. We all need love. To have all their needs met. For everyone to feel empowered and enough. I believe hurt people hurt people and when we all feel enough we don’t take from others in a way that hurts people, we get our needs met in healthy ways.
When we feel entitled, we hurt others. People do a lot of ugly things in the name of status and power. To be seen as better or above another. To win. To me, that’s often deep insecurity disguised as confidence so yeah my wish is that people feel truly loved, enough, seen and valued so that they don’t hurt others.
I can’t thank Kirsty enough for taking the time to nourish us with her love and wisdom on my blog today. I feel so blessed to know her love personally but I know it will illuminate to each and every one of you as well. No matter where you are in the world right now.
If you’re on a journey with self-love it’s clear that Kirsty’s key advice is to be gentle with yourself, loving and let it settle into your heart.
Let Kirsty’s words and wisdom serve you even deeper to rise into the priestess of your authentic essence. By embracing and loving every single part of your unique self, you will burn with the fuel needed to rise and claim your gifts and unique powers.
It’s also palpable from Kirsty’s loving wisdom that the world is in need of healing. Indeed this is so, and Kirsty, like me, believes that we have the capacity to know that that healing through loving ourselves fiercely. For when we love ourselves deeply, it also leads to the transformation of our sacred communities.
Finally, Kirsty truly embodies why sisterhood is so sacred to heal deeply. And that when we hold space for our truths as sisters, we, in turn, fix each other’s crowns to rise together.
Sisterhood is a bond united with trust, fueled by love, compassion, and acceptance. This is everything Kirsty brings to the world through her loving offering so that every woman can rise to their priestess path.